254 Friday the 13th Puns: Funny One Liners For Adults

Friday the 13th puns to make your spooky day extra fun! It’s a date known for fear, superstition, and suspense but we’re flipping the script with laughter. Why did Jason bring a ladder? Because in horror, he wanted to reach new heights! Even slashers have a sense of humor, right?

Friday the 13th puns are often avoided for big decisions thanks to centuries of superstition. But instead of running from fear, let’s laugh in its face. These pun-derful jokes are perfect for lightening the mood. Who knew surviving the unluckiest day could be so funny?

Table of Contents

Friday the 13th puns one-line

Jason brought a ladder—he wanted to reach new heights in horror.
I’m not superstitious, just stabstitious.
Even my shadow won’t walk with me on Friday the 13th.
I asked Jason for a break—he gave me a slash.
Friday the 13th: when your luck ghosts you.
Jason started a podcast—it’s a real scream.
My black cat just called in sick.
Jason tried online dating—his profile was killer.
If I had a dollar for every bad omen today, I’d be rich… and haunted.
My mirror cracked before I even looked into it.
Jason opened a spa—comes with complimentary screams.
I walked under a ladder and met Jason halfway.
Friday the 13th is proof my Wi-Fi has a grudge.
Jason’s favorite app? Slashergram.
Even my GPS rerouted away from Camp Crystal Lake.
This day is so cursed, even my coffee machine quit.
Jason finally got a job—he’s in human resources.
I don’t run from problems, unless it’s Jason behind me.
My luck ran out before I even got out of bed.
Jason took up yoga—his favorite pose is corpse pose.
I crossed my fingers and still stubbed my toe.
The only thing sharper than Jason’s machete is his sarcasm.
I told Jason a joke—he gave me a dead stare.
Even Siri won’t talk to me today.
I sneezed and accidentally summoned bad luck.
Friday the 13th: when even ghosts call in sick.
Jason’s into fashion now—he’s slaying the runway.
I saw my reflection blink at me—definitely Friday the 13th.
Today’s to-do list: avoid curses, outrun Jason, survive.
Jason opened a deli—he’s great with cold cuts.
My umbrella flipped inside out under a roof.
This day is like Jason’s playlist—all killer, no filler.
I stayed home to be safe—Jason ordered DoorDash.
My horoscope just said “good luck, sucker.”
Even my plants are scared to grow today.
Jason wrote a poem—it was a cut above the rest.
I tried to make a wish, but the candles blew themselves out.
Jason’s into self-care now—he calls it “me-time slashing.”
Friday the 13th is the day socks go missing faster.
My luck’s so bad, my ghost got ghosted.
Jason became a vegan—he only kills plants now.
Friday the 13th: when you stub your toe, spill your drink, and still say, “could be worse.”
Jason started a blog—it’s all killer content.
Today’s motto: survive now, scream later.
Jason’s idea of a sleepover? Lights off, heads off.
I waved at my reflection—it didn’t wave back.
Even my candles are flickering nervously today.
Jason opened a bar—it serves Bloody Marys only.
Friday the 13th is the sequel no one asked for.
I knocked on wood, and it knocked back.
Jason’s new job? Freelance haunting.
I smiled in the mirror… and something smiled back.

Friday the 13th puns for adults

Jason’s favorite pickup line? “Wanna get slashed later?”
Friday the 13th: the only day I trust my ex less than my luck.
I told Jason to chill — now I’m iced out.
My black cat just gave me the silent treatment.
Jason’s idea of foreplay? Stalking and slashings.
Friday the 13th: when even my horoscope says, “Good luck, loser.”
I tried to dodge bad luck, but it tripped me first.
Jason’s mask is the only thing more filtered than my Instagram.
I walked under a ladder and spilled my wine—now that’s a horror story.
Jason’s favorite party game? Hide and stalk.
Even my Wi-Fi connection is scared to stay connected today.
Why make a wish when you can just pray for a quick exit?
Jason’s idea of a Tinder date? Swipe right, then cut.
I put salt over my shoulder—then spilled tequila on the floor.
Friday the 13th: when even my boss gives me the evil eye.
Jason doesn’t ghost; he kills the conversation.
Today’s forecast: 100% chance of awkward silences and stabs.
Jason’s favorite cocktail? Bloody Mary, hold the Mary.
I’m not superstitious, just selectively terrified.
Even my reflection looks like it wants to bail on Friday the 13th.
Jason got a job as a bartender—his drinks are killer.
Friday the 13th is the only day I consider binge-watching The Office a survival tactic.
I tried to curse Jason, but he already had worse on me.
Why do ghosts avoid dating on Friday the 13th? They’re afraid of getting boo-ed.
Jason’s hobbies: stalking, slashing, and bad pickup lines.
I asked for a sign; the only thing that showed up was Jason.
Black cats crossed my path and handed me a bill.
Friday the 13th: the adult version of “don’t touch that.”
Jason’s version of foreplay is scarier than my last relationship.
I tried to light candles for good luck—now it looks like a crime scene.
Jason’s got a dark sense of humor—and I’m not talking about his outfit.
I don’t run from my problems, but I’m sprinting from Jason.
Even my GPS warns me to avoid Friday the 13th zones.
Jason joined a dating app; his profile says “killer personality.”
I stubbed my toe and now I’m questioning my life choices.
Friday the 13th is the adult version of “don’t open that door.”
Jason’s playlist: all killer, no filler.
I gave Jason a high five—now I’m in a cast.
Even my phone’s autocorrect is ignoring me today.
Jason’s idea of self-care? A nice, long stalk.
I asked for a sign—Jason just showed up at my door.
Friday the 13th: when your bad decisions get even worse.
Jason doesn’t ghost—he haunts your nightmares.
I told Jason a joke, he gave me the silent treatment.
My luck is so bad, even my shadow avoids me today.
Jason’s favorite drink? Bloody anything.
Friday the 13th: the only day my plants look as dead as my social life.
I tried to break a mirror but it broke me instead.
Jason’s stalking skills are better than my ex’s texting.
I spilled salt and now Jason’s in my DMs.
Friday the 13th is just an excuse for my wine to haunt me early.
Jason’s idea of flirting? A slow, bloody approach.

funny Friday the 13th puns

Jason took a ladder because he wanted to reach new heights in horror.
Why did the black cat cross the road? To avoid Friday the 13th!
My luck today is so bad, even my coffee grounds ran away.
Jason tried online dating but got ghosted.
Friday the 13th: when even your Wi-Fi disconnects out of fear.
I walked under a ladder and immediately stubbed my toe—classic.
Jason opened a bakery—his specialty? Killer rolls.
Don’t be afraid of Friday the 13th; be afraid of your to-do list.
Jason’s favorite dance move? The slasher shuffle.
My horoscope said, “Avoid risks,” so I stayed in bed all day.
Even my shadow won’t follow me today.
Jason’s favorite fruit? A slasher-berry.
Black cats aren’t bad luck, but my Monday mornings sure are.
I asked Jason for a high five; he gave me a low stab.
Friday the 13th: when your bad luck is on steroids.
Jason joined a gym—he’s working on his killer abs.
I spilled salt and now Jason’s on speed dial.
The only thing worse than Friday the 13th is Monday the 14th.
Jason tried stand-up comedy; his jokes are killer.
Why don’t ghosts like Friday the 13th? Too much boo-hoo.
I’m so unlucky, even my shadow stays six feet away.
Jason’s favorite drink? Bloody Mary, hold the Mary.
I bought a lucky charm; it ran away screaming.
Friday the 13th is the ultimate plot twist in the calendar.
Jason’s favorite game? Hide and stalk.
I asked for a sign, and the power went out.
My black cat just gave me the evil eye.
Jason’s new hobby? Gardening—he’s great at cutting weeds.
Friday the 13th: when even your phone autocorrects to “run.”
I’m not superstitious, I’m just very cautious.
Jason’s favorite movie genre? Slashers, obviously.
Why did the ghost avoid Friday the 13th? Too many boos.
My luck today is so bad, I tripped over air.
Jason got a job at the deli—master of cold cuts.
Friday the 13th: when your to-do list looks scarier than Jason.
I told Jason a joke; he didn’t find it very cutting-edge.
Even my plants are afraid to grow today.
Jason’s favorite holiday? Halloween, but he works overtime.
I spilled salt and immediately called my ex for backup.
Friday the 13th: the day your shadow refuses to hang out.
Jason’s idea of a good time? Slashing through paperwork.
Why did the skeleton avoid Friday the 13th? No guts to face it.
I tried to stay positive, but Friday the 13th said no.
Jason’s favorite exercise? Running after bad decisions.
Black cats crossed my path and handed me a bill.
Friday the 13th: when your coffee needs coffee.
Jason’s new nickname? The friendly neighborhood slasher.
I waved at my reflection; it didn’t wave back.
Friday the 13th: the ultimate excuse to binge horror movies.
Jason opened a bar—specialty: Bloody Marys with extra stab.
I bought a lucky rabbit’s foot; it ran away faster than me.
Friday the 13th: because who doesn’t love a little suspense in their day?

Friday the 13th jokes and puns

Why did Jason bring a ladder? To reach new heights in horror!
What’s Jason’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal… and stabbing beats.
Why don’t ghosts like Friday the 13th? Too many boos and bad vibes.
Why did the black cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
What do you call Jason’s favorite workout? Deadlifts.
Why did the skeleton avoid Friday the 13th? He didn’t have the guts.
What’s Jason’s favorite fruit? A slasherberry.
Why did the ladder break up with Jason? Because he was always climbing on people’s nerves.
How does Jason stay in shape? By running after bad decisions.
What do you call a black cat who tells jokes? A purr-former.
Why did Jason start gardening? He wanted to work on his cutting skills.
How do you know Jason is nearby? You hear the slashing beats.
What’s the best way to survive Friday the 13th? Laugh in the face of fear.
Why did Jason get a job at the deli? He’s great with cold cuts.
Why don’t zombies ever celebrate Friday the 13th? They’re dead inside.
What’s a ghost’s favorite party game? Hide and boo.
How does Jason like his steak? Bloody, of course.
Why did the candle break up with the match? It found the relationship too hot to handle.
What do you call Friday the 13th in a bakery? A batch of killer rolls.
Why don’t witches like Friday the 13th? Too much hex-tra drama.
How do black cats keep in touch? Through the pawternet.
What’s Jason’s favorite dance? The slash and slide.
Why was the ghost so bad at lying? Because you could see right through him.
How do you throw a party on Friday the 13th? You slay all night.
What’s Jason’s favorite movie genre? Anything with a killer plot twist.
Why don’t skeletons ever throw surprise parties? They don’t have the guts.
How does a ghost fix a broken heart? With a little boo-hoo.
What’s the creepiest part about Friday the 13th? The suspense is killer.
Why did the bat avoid the party? Too much hanging around.
How do you make a witch itch? Take away her Friday the 13th spells.
What’s Jason’s favorite type of coffee? Deadly espresso.
Why did the spider bring a ladder? To climb out of the horror story.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
How do ghosts send mail? Through the scare-mail system.
Why did the ghost get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call Jason after he retires? A slash of life.
Why was Friday the 13th so bad at math? It couldn’t count on luck.
How do you know if a ghost is happy? He has a boo-m smile.
Why did the werewolf bring a ladder? To reach the full moon’s top shelf.
What’s Jason’s favorite workout? Cutting-edge cardio.
Why don’t mummies ever get stressed? They’re wrapped up in calm.
How do zombies keep their hair in place? With scare-spray.
What did the ghost say to the scary movie fan? “You’re my kind of spirit.”
Why did the black cat join a band? Because it had the purr-fect pitch.
What do you call a haunted computer? A terror-byte.
How do you keep a vampire in suspense? Tell him the joke tomorrow.
Why was Jason bad at poker? He always gave away his tells.
How do witches fix their hair? With scare-spray.
What’s the worst thing about Friday the 13th? The hangover the next day.
Why don’t ghosts like rain? Because it dampens their spirits.
What’s Jason’s favorite fruit snack? Killer gummies.
Why is Friday the 13th so popular? Because everyone loves a good scare!

FAQ’s

Why is Friday the 13th considered unlucky?

Friday the 13th is considered unlucky because the number 13 and Fridays have long been linked to bad luck. When combined, it creates a day full of spooky vibes and caution. It’s no wonder that Friday the 13th puns often play on this “killer” combination to bring some humor to an otherwise scary day!

Who is Jason in Friday the 13th?

Jason Voorhees is the iconic villain of the Friday the 13th horror series, known for his hockey mask and deadly machete. Many Friday the 13th puns reference Jason’s relentless nature and his knack for “cutting” through the competition—literally!

Are Friday the 13th superstitions real?

Superstitions about Friday the 13th are mostly myths and not backed by science. Still, the fear and excitement make it perfect for sharing Friday the 13th puns that lighten the mood and help us laugh at the day’s spooky reputation.

How did Friday the 13th become a pop culture phenomenon?

Thanks largely to the success of the Friday the 13th movie franchise featuring Jason, the day became ingrained in pop culture. This led to countless Friday the 13th puns and jokes, turning fear into fun.

What are some common Friday the 13th superstitions?

People often avoid walking under ladders, crossing paths with black cats, or breaking mirrors on Friday the 13th. These superstitions inspire many classic Friday the 13th puns that make light of these spooky habits.

Conclusion

Get ready to laugh this Friday the 13th puns with our collection of puns and jokes! Share these fun, spooky one-liners with your friends and family to add some lighthearted fun to the day. We update our site daily with fresh, hilarious puns so don’t forget to bookmark us and never miss a killer joke.

Keeping your humor sharp can be a challenge, but these puns are guaranteed to give you chills and chuckles at the same time. Friday the 13th puns are the perfect day for jokes that surprise, thrill, and bring a little spooky fun all at once. Humor is lurking everywhere let’s keep the laughs coming!

You can enjoy new puns every day because we update regularly. Stay tuned for more fang-tastic fun we’re here to keep the jokes flowing and the good times rolling.

Ryan Roben